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in Blog

What to do when you want to quit – by Dwight Bain

Ever feel like quitting? It’s one of the most common challenges of the Christian life. Not just giving up on a job or relationship – some people even feel like quitting their life.

I’ve been there with thousands of people at the crossroads of quitting or finding a new path and have seen three reasons they would rather spend their time and energy on giving up instead of going forward.

1. Fearful
Times are tough and many people are afraid about what the economy will do to their family in the future, in fact they can become so frozen in fear they are afraid to try. It’s normal to feel afraid, yet when you are overwhelmed with fear it can often lead to becoming indecisive and totally ‘ zoning out.’

Since running away from reality feels easier than facing it for some people they chose to stick their head in the sand and completely deny what’s happening. Some people do this in a passive way and just slowly sink, while others try to avoid reality by using substances or media to escape. Avoiding major change by hiding in fear will only lead to a major crisis. Being aware of these dangers and opening up the conversation will help you to ask tough questions to protect yourself before you end up in a more dangerous situation.

2. Frustrated
This could include being really irritated with a marriage partner, kids or coworkers, but it’s really more about you. Think about the times you were trying really hard but things just didn’t come together. You know you want to finish strong and have a meaningful life but you feel like you lack the horsepower to really pull out in front of the crowd. When frustration builds up it puts you at great risk, because you face a tough choice. Finish with mediocre results and risk more distance in a relationship or even getting laid off at work. Some just check out to avoid feeling the pain. I’ve especially seen this with highly creative people who procrastinate until the last minute and then end up downsized or fired. Their frustration could also come out as anger directed toward the closest person to them. It’s not fair, but it happens because they let the frustration take over, which blocks their ability to creatively face challenges instead of want to quit.

3. Failing
Sadly this person is the easiest to spot because they checked out a long time ago. When someone has reached this level they are so unmotivated they give up on even trying at the most basic of tasks. Basically their life reflects a ‘free fall’ down to zero. They feel totally and completely like a failure and stop trying, which crushes their confidence and for many it kills the desire to try again. This leads some to quit on their family, their job or their faith in God.They are too depleted to even believe the spiritual promise given by a desolate prophet named Jeremiah thousands of years ago to keep his broken people focused on hope instead of despair during desperate times, ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ (Jeremiah 33:3)

My friend Derric Johnson described this process as “The Dream never Dies – just the Dreamer. The Song never dies – just the Singer”. I challenge you to face your fears, frustrations and the fear of failing by seeking encouragement from God’s word. If you take time out daily to meditate on your core values you can find the motivation to stay focused beyond your doubts. I believe this approach is the best way to move past your fears to greater faith. When you learn the secret of building on core values you can translate that strength into the energy needed to move past the temptation to give up and quit.
Bottom line – you are stronger than you think, but just in case you are feeling beat up by life, listen to the words of Moses in Exodus 14:13-14, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will accomplish for you today…The LORD will fight for you!” His words to trust a mighty God above the circumstances always inspires me to keep focused, to keep climbing and then tell others about the view so they will #PressOn.  I hope it does the same for you.

 

About the author- Dwight Bain guides busy professionals to rewrite their story from stress to success. He is a Certified Life Coach and Nationally Certified Counselor in practice since 1984 with a focus on managing major change.  Stay connected with him for other life change strategies at dwightbain.com, on his Twitter page, or here on Facebook.

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